Lost a patient yesterday. And it was one of those tough ones. One where you actually see the person alive, talking to you before they die. Often patients who die in the ER come there mostly dead already. You don't usually expect to bring someone back who shows up at your door without a pulse. But when they come in talking to you and you lose them, it just makes it worse.

As anyone working in health care knows, you have to try not to get too involved. We deal with death on a regular basis. You just can't let it get to you. This lady was in her 70's and she came in short of breath. She ended up getting intubated and put on life support. She was in the ER for several hours. After her lab work and x-rays came back, we realized just how sick she was. Her body was fighting an overwhelming septic infection. I was putting a central line in the patient next door to her when I heard someone yell something about a patient coding. I knew instantly who it was. I finished what I was doing and went next door to join my attending. We worked on this lady for nearly an hour and she finally did get a pulse back. But the second time her heart stopped, there was nothing we could do to get it started again. I know we did everything we could and she was an old lady who I hope led a full life. It just makes it more real because unlike the mostly dead who arrive at our door, she was sitting up in bed talking to me hours before she died.